You are the most disrespectful person to me... all of you, humans. Not to me even, your nature is a disgrace to my black empty eyes. You think I have no eyes thus I am blind? You are the one to be blinded by the big chunk of wood while you'er trying to point out other's little sticks in their eyes. You think I'm blind only that I see what you are. Why do you go hurting people that are close to you? Why don't you respect yourself, all you are humans! You think I have no mouth thus I am mute... well I'll tell you then, you aren't even thinking about your close persons, you are just walking forward, just climbing up and you're gonna stab anybody who's just slowing you down... Why do you choose to be with someone while you can be all alone, climbing up your life ladder, earning money and eating it all. well then eat it. Eat the money, eat whatever you want, I hope you'll choke on your way and may be realize that you're being a wrong, miserable piece of nonsense not even worth being called a human being. I hate you for what you are.






Ok breathing again, this is still me and I'm not gone any more insane that what I am. Things are changing their meanings now, 4 days already left and I don't know what to expect. The place is even lonelier and is now full of anger, a left out anger. An unfortunate snort that is not even heard by someone, a sigh that nobody's gonna turn to, a scream for a help that nobody's gonna give... The life is empty now, there's non left in me as a matter of fact... My body is now weak and is slowly giving up... It is painful... I can see pain and i can see blood... Things are getting tight on me and I have nothing else to do other than yell out at night for help. I know there's nobody out there to hear it, nobody's going to be there really when I breath my last few bits of air... I'll just be lying on the floor my mask touching the cold frozen ground, senseless as it always has been with the idea behind it that will or will not survive... Will not survive because nobody wants it to... Ideas are bulletproof but are they really worth existence if they are not even wanted in this world of violence and pain?

I have made the mask finally, it's as scary as it could be and it's drying in the other room, the room I make my masks in... I hope I'll get to wear it once before I go completely insane... I have noticed that things aren't exactly on my side... eve those that used to be on my side, with me... next to me... I am scared of living on this earth, people want to harm me even thou they don't know me, never heard my music and never though of what i'm trying to do...


I'm trying to live, whatever there is, why won't it let me live... I know everybody has rights to pursue the happiness... even if one must be miserable... you can't simply not let him pursue his happiness... take his final hopes and just leave him there feel his life getting closer and closer to the end with each breath he takes...  you cant...