8 Months Later

8 months... 8 months passed. And I am back. Back in the past, past that never become present or future again. It did remain there. What am I to do now, no one knows. Things broke hard really, among which you could here the shatter of the final remaining of my heart, my soul, the belief in this country, belief in humanity in general. It was so loud and clear I felt like I heard it not thru my omnious ears but actually heard it inside my brain, not with the ears but with the brain itself... 'felt' the noise...

Ok I can't say I am sad now. I've been... away... all this time... quite far away... I'm a living person. I'm not quite a human... some say I'm a monster and even if so, I'm alive, I'm a leaving creature meaning I adapt, like all the living things... we all adapt. that's the only true similarity I can see among everyone and everything. So I adapted... So you ask whether I'm happy or no... I know you didn't actually, very few can care of others... strangers... creatures you know... nevertheless... I'll answer because I do want to answer that question and if it happens so that you are reading this right now then I'm 80% sure you do want to find out about it too whether your intentions are good, bad or just curious.. well my answer is.. what is happiness? it's a subject of matter... so as of now... yes I am happy.

I also found out something new. something I could build my new fortress around. I hope that 'something new'  doesnt walk away now... Soon you'll see the real world, but for now everything I do or say makes no sense... Soon the bits and pieces will make the whole image...

Think ahead

You know, people often think that they can do everything they want. That they know what's good for them and what's not. They think they are good enough to make such decisions eh? Well not everybody does! Often I hear people think they can have something or better yet someone and then just put it away and walk over it to be come free and independent but they never think ahead of the things. If they think they're doing something really strong and wise,.what are they to do so by playing with others' feelings? It's just wrong and I want to warn you, before doing so, think outside the box, often what you need for your happiness is next to you until the point you throw it away. You human-beings have that tendency to do so really. You know distance, hardship, whatever... all that matters no more if you have that someone who's doing everything for you and you just think you need some freedom, as if someone else will fucking give you anything more than that man? If someone will be able to love you the way he did or make you happier than he did. I'm not talking of the stupid little relationship and all but those that has been established for months, years! Even those who are in families! you should be careful human beings cause if you throw it away once your back, they won't be there anymore, they won't be waiting for you! Do not act stupid, think ahead.

Mistakes! I hear

What is a 'past'? Well once it was present and was probably promising if you've been lucky enough to have something like that. So why did I assume it was promising. The answer is simple enough: because both of us refer to it as past. So what IS that past and why is it different from the present? Well that's quite the question out there, I don't think anybody other than you can answer it but hey often you yourself reject to admit it! 

So let's think clearly, if you're having problems what do you do? Fix your problems. It's never 'in someone else'  until you analyze and may be realize yourself! That's it no complication here, it's all about you first of all! 

The past was your present once and you had chances, now the changes are gone but you're still thinking of past? Well that means that you have part of the past in your present, what you need to do is make the other part into the present as well. You're not gonna make it by just looking back and sighing and saying yes it was good. You gotta start acting! Taking big steps! Ask yourself, what's wrong with me? What did I do to get the things like that? What didn't work out? What was the catalyst? That 'what' can be anything, behavior, words, deeds. Analyze it cause nobody else is going to do it for you! Now think! What can you do to get to the right route? Saying like 'Well I've done all I could so I'm just like this then' is the first step to a defeat! While 'I'm gonna make it bitches' or 'Fuck this, I'll make it' won't get you close to your aim, they're good for some inspiration and whatnot! This is not gonna be a tutorial on how to fix your things, this is simply to tell you that all you, mankind, are full of mistakes and perfect are not the flawless ones but the ones who admit their mistakes and try and fix them! Don't be afraid of making mistakes, think of not being able to differ then from everything else and fix them as soon as you can! GO NOW!!!

Talk bitches!

So let's talk bitches. You guys love bitches? What's your opinion on bitches? I totally adore bitches cause there's so many of them and each of them is so different which leads me to several conclusions such as "a bitch is a bitch in it's own way" or "no two bitches are the same". As a variety lover, again I'll say, they come in different shapes and colors with all sorts of bells and whistles!

So what kind of a bitch do you know? You know when I say 'bitches' I'm talking about those morons who just spoil your life for no reason, the asshole brother who hates you for some unknown reasons or the fucker dad who's just yelling at you, Hey you have an aunt who's a bitch? include her in, what?? A grumpy old fart grandparent? Get in! Some bitch friends eh? You're welcome guys!


ok So turns out bitches are everywhere, they're not just gathering in groups and living on their own, instead, they go loneshot, getting into someone else's life, sucking the blood out, each time, shitting around the whole place and... ffffffuuugh!!! you motherfucker!! Why is there that many bitches? Gladly, we don't bear bitches in the Factory, but those bitches... I think you human kind should just fuck the bitches. How do you tolerate them?

Oh well I'm not gonna talk too much about bitches... bitches don't deserve being talked about for too long. Just know there are people alive. aaallot of dem, who're alive only cause killing is illegal. Not in the Factory, come visit me someday if you want, you'll like this place... But behold. if you're a bitch...

Patheticism

Patheticism isn't just a word, in fact I know such word doesn't exist... But where does it not exist? In your heads, imagination, dictionary? This is my world and I create whatever I want. today's innovation is the word Patheticism. It's when people get off the tracks and start being pathetic realizing that. Just as this is our today's word, I am of course going to talk about it. I hate every patheticist. I hate how they just do stupid stuff getting on someone's nerves and others just adore them for that. They believe he's just being funny. What I hate more is the words "get used to him, he's always been like that". Well guess than I'll soon be giving him a favor with a lesson. I am not the run-and-punch man, I would even keep away from the word man/human, no, I like working carefully, slowly and thoroughly, I do give people a chance even those filthy little stupid patheticists. Yeah just one day is not enough of a reason for me to have my hands on someone but do I have to get that behavior from them once again to start my plague?  People believe I am let's say a not so smart person for assuming others are disrespecting me. Have you been disrespected? If yes then you surely know how it feels, you can never confuse it with something else! No I say let's not bear any disrespect from any patheticist or whoever there is. Back then I remember, I've always been the one they'd want to calm down, why me? Did my face by then yell out MONSTER? I don't what to say anymore, I hate most of the human nature, not because they're humans or whatever, because they do not deserve to be called humans, be along those who are real humans. You are a disgrace to my eyes! I also hate nerds, I have to starts a real ------- spree on real nerds. They go reading books, learning all that by heart and then think they are big enough to say " I assume". Who the hell do you think you are to dare to say that YOU. ASSUME? You're too small of a person to go around and say you assume!!! They only read all those books and learn by heart, they mean nothing themselves but only brag about what they are going to do in the future. They have never seen how it all goes. They only know stupid theory and have never seen what's going on in the real world. Welcome to the cruel world of big life! It's not like in your stupid books. Even those books. Don't get em wrong at this point, I know you might not be agreeing with me but let me clarify, I am not talking about people who are smart and know their stuff, not about books in general either and nor learning. I am talking of this specific type of humans that are too small to do something on their own, they are too scared from this world and they only go learning stuff by heart and say they know everything. Let me just say YOU ARE DIPSHIT!


Now a bit on me, I am still waiting. the answers didn't arrive as I was expecting on 9th. So now I have a whole month to bear and see if I can be happy again. After these few days of silence here I finally got angry again, what's ridiculous is that they never care for you, they always want to let you know that whatever you've done or mean there's gonna be someone whom they'll protect with pleasure. I am disappointed in a lot of things. More so I am full of hatred, darkness and anger more than ever. Seems like my physical embodiment is going to fit as much of it as I fill it with. That is good cause there's no such thing as enough of hate.
Bear with me and I'll show you the world of the descended, I'll tell you about the most terrifying rooms of the Factory and show you the most horrific ideas one can eve receive.

To those who read this...

To those people who read this rage/horror blog, I haven't posted for 2 days already for I didn't have much to say. I haven't been that angry for a day I think and I am doing a bit better. The day I was waiting for is today and is now being decided on the future development of my life along with many many others. I am Waiting for the final results and news. I'll be posting an update later on tonight or tomorrow.

I also want to say thanks to those who read this, even if you do not exist, humans who read this, thank you for giving me a chance to say everything out loudly. Please lets all cross our fingers and hope for the good times to finally embrace me. Please if there's anybody out there comment below, let me know you exist.

V

Lets talk about future. Do you see future?

Do you see future in your friends? In your family? In humanity, work anything... do you see future in anything? Surely there are plans, hopes, dreams right?... How about you write it down all your hopes and dreams... Fine, now scratch it all, make a ball from that paper and throw it at your face. How does it feel? Think thoroughly of each thing you scratch off. Tell you what, it's not even close to what I am feeling with everything literally scratched away and just void and nothing else. Yeah there's a bit of hope, you know my answers that I'm waiting for. 3 days already left and I'm quite skeptical: it is going o be like always, just stupid words here and there and again 'wait for a bit more'. There won't be no 'more' don't you get it? There's none now either, it's only 3 days and one hope. Make it happen!

Ok now I don't really know what my mood is like. Feels empty. I started with ab it of anger but now it just feels empty. I haven't been out for already a week. Haven't seen a single face out there... I have nothing to do out there anymore...

I'm also going to watch the remake of Nightmare on the Elm street, so hopefully it's something good, I'll say my opinion later. As for now, may the luck be with me, I am sincerely hoping to get the things back to how they were or up working somehow else, but working... I need things working, I need that 9th brings the answers the good answers. I'm a bit skeptical as I already said but here's a hoping.